My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
