I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
3 2 1 whiskey
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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