So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
