In the future we'll all be gay
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Randomize
