508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
