Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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