I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
