Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
