uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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