whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
