I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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