i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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