please come you make the beer taste better
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
