You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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