i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
