i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize