New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
