His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
