rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You need Xanax blowdarts
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
im on a boat
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