Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
