How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
