were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
