hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
