i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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