Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
