i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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