Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
