There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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