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Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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