This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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