Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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