Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I love you. Go after that dick
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize