So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
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