Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
