Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
