The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
My butt remains clenched, sir.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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