Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
