i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
