i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
