Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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