saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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