Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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