I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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