Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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