The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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