it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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