too bad you live with your parents still
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
