I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
