so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
