So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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