your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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