I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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