I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
