fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Let's paint friendship bongs
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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