i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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