no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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