I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
