therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I think I sprained my soul last night
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
