i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize