Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
