Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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