I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
