when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
