I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
