so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
