I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize