I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
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